Amanda Hardy, Your Past Life Calls

Chapter 3

Vi scribbled notes on her pad as she listened to Amanda's vivid descriptions. Let's see...She's obviously in the countryside, but where is this place? The flowers and other plants are unfamiliar. The forest is a dark, forbidding place; she says 'we are not to go there.' Why? And just who are these enemies?

"Amanda," said Vi, "I want you to focus on the people in that place. Describe them for me."
Amanda, in her subconscious state, was silent for a few seconds, waiting for the people in her visions to materialize. She began to describe further.

"I see some shapes, but they don't look human...the shapes are all blurry...I hear the music."
"What music, Amanda?" Here Amanda began to sing a few lines, in Latin, then in English:

O fortuna velut luna statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis; vita detestabilis nunc obdurant et tunc curat

O Fortuna like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing and waning; hateful life first oppresses then soothes

"I don't know why I hear it, but it seems to fit the mood...The voice I hear is tender but has a fearful edge."

Vi, still jotting down notes, tried to decipher what Amanda recounted, not thoroughly getting a clear picture of her patient's visions. There has to be some connection between the words of "O Fortuna" and the visual, but why doesn't she fully see the people?
"Amanda," she said, "I want you to concentrate all your energy on the people. Who do you see? What do they look like? What are they doing?"
Amanda Hardy, whose life up until now was a mere preface of greater things to come, refocused on the pastoral scenario taking shape deep within her sub-consciousness. She tried in vain to put a face on the people she thought she saw that first time when, at that post-recital reception, she grasped hands with Vi Mingledorff. But who or what she saw didn't remotely look human. Now, under hypnosis, in a thoroughly relaxed and altered state, could finally populate that peaceful scene.

"I see her...the one I heard while performing the Brahms. I see her with her children." "And what does she look like?"
"She looks like...Oh! She is of immense size, the grandeur, the utter grace and poise..."
That gave Vi pause. What does Amanda mean by 'she is of immense size'? Is the woman in this vision a giant? An Amazon? Perhaps just an overly obese woman? Vi asked Amanda just that.

"No," Amanda replied, "she isn't even human. She's...OH MY GOD! There are NO people here! The shapes, the creatures I see...They're all...Dinosaurs!"
Now Amanda began to weep in realization that what she had been experiencing for several months was the earth's distant past – the Cretaceous Period to be exact. If this is indeed a past life experience, then is it possible that her soul once inhabited the body of a long-extinct animal? There isn't such thing as animal-to-human reincarnation, at least that's what Cassie told her. She needed answers.

"Amanda," Vi said, "you said you see dinosaurs. What are they doing?"
"I see the one, the one from my earlier visions. She is a maiasaurus, caring for her young. She is tending her nest of new hatchlings."
"And does she hear this music?"
"I can't tell...I believe she does, for I can tell what she's thinking. She is deeply worried that life's wheel of fortune will deal her and her children a death blow...There is a faint roar coming from the deep forest, the roar of a predator..."

Vi Mingledorff, thoroughly confounded at what Amanda told her, believed it was time to bring her patient out of hypnosis. There was much to research, and this vision may not be a sign of a past life. It could be an alert for Amanda, that her life was about to take a dramatic turn, and for the worst.

******

A drained Amanda emerged from Vi's townhouse more confused than before. Vi said that it would take several sessions to get at the bottom of Amanda's deepest fears. Perhaps this is a past life experience, although Vi stated that animal-to-human reincarnation is extremely rare, almost non-existent. Then again, it is one thing to die as a cat, horse, or whale then come back to this life in human form. But to die as a dinosaur, a creature rendered extinct for 65 million years, is so incredible.
Perhaps, according to Vi, the Cretaceous scenario, coupled with particular musical compositions, was a sign that Amanda should reevaluate her life choices. Her career, the impending marriage, could be affected in a negative way.
So, Amanda thought, these visions could be warning me about my future life with Kevin, that by marrying him could jeopardize my career. When I think of it, my career never did take off the way I wanted it to, especially since I allowed Kevin to act as my manager. Every audition, from small opera companies to top Broadway musical theater, had a miserable outcome. That musical drama, the one based on Jane Eyre, was destined to be a hit, but, according to Kevin, the show lacked investors. So I missed a plum role, a role that would've surely catapulted me to stardom.
Amanda had pondered whether or not to share her experiences with Kevin. No, she concluded. He would simply pooh-pooh what Vi and I partially uncovered as sheer nonsense. And he would press me to set a wedding date so he could further control me...

Instead of going home right away, Amanda decided to call on Cassie. She knew her friend was busy, but since that unsettling session with Vi, Amanda felt the need to air her concerns. She got out her cell phone and dialed Cassie's studio.
"Hello, Cassie? It's me...Yeah, I just finished my first session...There were some interesting developments...I can't tell you now. Are you busy? Good! I can be there within fifteen minutes."

As Amanda rode the bus to Cassie's studio, she heard, in the back of her mind, the music play again, this time accompanied by that same vision. She saw everything: the meadow, the lake, and the distant deep forest. Amanda saw the mother maiasaurus, tenderly caring for her young and ever watchful for the predators waiting for the right time to attack. Surely they – the predators – wouldn't attack in the open space of the meadow, Amanda thought.
When she disembarked from the bus, Amanda walked the two blocks to Cassie's studio. Before she got in the door, a sick feeling came over her. Deep in her psyche she could hear the bloodcurdling roar, the resounding impact tremors tearing through the forest. Then she heard whimpers of pain and anguish, and a mother's wails of tragic loss.

******

"What! You saw a...dinosaur? You mean you might have been a dinosaur in a previous life?"
Cassie Flynn, her size 16 body clad in a smart outfit of black cropped pants, coordinating black and purple top, and black platform slides, took a break from her busy schedule. She couldn't believe what Amanda told her about those frightening visions. Was it true? Could it be that Amanda's soul once was in the body of a maiasaurus? Then, when Amanda recounted what she experienced on the way to the studio got Cassie's curiosity going.

"Amanda," she said as she poured for friend a cold stiff shot of vodka, "I don't think there is such thing as an animal coming back as a human. But what you told me is so wild! I mean, you, experiencing things and events that took place more than 65 million years ago...!"
"I know," said Amanda after knocking back the liquor, "but Vi thinks it may be more than a past life experience. She says my visions may be a sign that I should reevaluate my life choices."
Cassie nodded in agreement. It was no secret that she never cottoned to Kevin Williams and even warned Amanda frequently that the man had ulterior motives. If he was so bent on having Amanda around as a meal ticket, then why has he not gotten her a decent audition? Cassie, as an up and coming star in the fashion industry, was privy to much gossip in the entertainment world since many of her clients were musicians and actors. She heard unsavory stories of how Amanda auditioned for this and that production, only to be told (by Kevin of all people) that she wasn't 'right' for the part, or the show was lacking serious investors. Hmm...Seems Kevin does have ulterior motives, but doesn't he thwarting Amanda's future success also impede his?

"Amanda," asked Cassie, "I don't know if this would help, but have you ever considered writing your OWN musical? You know, a one-woman show?"
"Huh? I thought we were talking about my supposed 'past life' as a dinosaur."
Cassie laughed out loud, shaking her abundant blonde curls. "No, no...I was just thinking that since you do write music, you could pen your own show. You know, maybe blend some of your stuff with that of the old masters'. Call it therapy for whatever ails you. At least it'll give you an outlet until you and Vi get to the bottom of those dreams and visions."

Amanda never thought of writing her own show, and this was one of those times when she truly loved Cassie. What an idea! Yes, since I can't – or Kevin won't – score any auditions for existing shows, why not do my own thing? I have, after all, a slew of supporters, I can approach them for investments. But one thing at a time...What will this show be about? Where will I stage it? And more importantly...What will I tell Kevin?

Cassie seemed to read Amanda's mind and suggested that she NOT tell Kevin the results of that consultation with Vi. "Or even the fact that you're writing and producing your own show."
The voices and visions within Amanda grew stronger; the screaming subsided into a low whimpering wail. That's it! She will base her show on those visions, and the notion that she indeed had such a past life. It will take much hard work, and a lot of time – time away from her performing schedule. But who cares? Amanda knew she had more than enough funds – for now – to begin putting the show together.
But first she would have to consult again with Vi, share these new visions. Whatever the outcome, Amanda realized that all the revelations of today's session with Vi, the continued voices in her head, and Cassie's suggestions just might pave the way for bigger and better things. Then she realized the hard part – telling Kevin.

To be continued...Go to chapter 4

Copyright©2004 by P.R. Parker. All rights reserved.