Shane's Big Break

Maureen understood, herself a relatively new addition, and told Shane over and over to relax and not to worry about hurting her. OK, so it was the fight part that made Shane balk. No doubt, after nine badly executed run-throughs, Norm, the director, and Rhoda, the show's producer, will simply find another male lead. This was his last chance, Norm warned. Get it right or take a hike.

"I'm sorry, Maureen," said Shane, brushing back blond bangs from his sparkling blue eyes, "I really should get over my fears, but that fight scene–"
"Don't worry so, Shane," she replied sympathetically. "It's not really fighting; it's just acting. You're not to hit me for real. Just pretend to hit me. When the wrestling scene comes, just follow my lead. We can make it up as we go along. They don't call it improv for nothing."
With a smile, Maureen, a stunning redhead with dancing brown eyes, reassured Shane that nothing will go wrong during this next run-through.

"OK, kids," Norm barked from the front row, "We're running through the dress rehearsal one more time. Take your places." To Shane, he added, "And to you, Mr. Austin: Make any more flubs and you're out of here. Got me? We have to get this right before show time. This is your last chance."

He's right. thought Shane. The show goes on in less than two hours and I'm still a jangle of nerves. I've never played lead before, and this skit isn't exactly my idea of a fun piece... Shane and Maureen waited for their cues as the two supporting players, Kathi and Hazel, took their places onstage. The skit called for a bar scene, and the stage was decorated as such. Not much by way of props – Just a tall bar dominating upstage, a few tables and chairs downstage, some glasses and bottles for effect.

Rhoda sat next to Norm, wondering if hiring Shane was a good idea. Well, he did a bangup job during his audition, and his comedic timing was without fault. And he was a good-looking guy to boot. Tall, lean, muscular, lightly tanned skin, a boyishly handsome face, thick gleaming blond hair that just cleared the collar, deep bangs that added a daring shadow to his brilliant blue eyes. He was young, just past twenty, and he was rather sexy with his penchant for skintight jeans and leather jackets.

For this skit, Shane wore a clinging shirt of midnight blue satin and tight black jeans that didn't exactly hide his manly contours. He looked, Rhoda thought to herself, kind of hot. Too bad Norm didn't notice Shane's obvious sex appeal; then again Norm is a 40ish, balding, fat slob who doesn't notice much other than an actor's mistakes. Heck, he didn't even notice Maureen, herself not bad in the looks department.

Petite, slim, ivory-toned, with a head of long fiery red hair, Maureen was a natural comedienne, almost on par with another, more legendary redhead. No, Maureen was no Lucy, but if the kid was handled just right, she could go far beyond the few nights a week in a local improv troupe. For this performance, Maureen wore a simple costume of long, literally flowing, white skirt and matching blouse. Not too sexy, but not too plain. Come on, it's Maureen's comedic gifts the audience is coming to see, not her clothes. As for Shane...

He'd better get it right...Once the audience falls in love with his incredible looks and sex appeal, then the rest will come naturally. He is rather funny, and he has a great future...If only he'd calm down and relax...

Norm, all business and "time is money", barked, "OK, action!"
The supporting actresses began reciting their lines right on cue. Rhoda paid little attention to those lines: It was all improvised anyway. Kathi and Hazel, in character, chatted away about men, love, hair, makeup, diets – You know, the stuff women talk about. Not much by way of deep conversation, but what made it funny was how the pair spoke in wildly exaggerated Brooklynese. Rhoda tried hard not to laugh out loud when Hazel, explaining the not-so-great 'monthly visitor', recited the line, "Hey, we're talkin' KEE-RAAMPS!"
Right on cue, Shane and Maureen entered from stage left, arguing and bickering over various nonsencial topics. Maureen, touchingly beautiful in her flowing white ensemble, faked a perfect southern drawl and twang, while Shane just spoke in his natural voice. And what a voice! Shane's words tumbled from his lips as if suggesting something other than, "I gotta beef with the wife." His voice was between tenor and baritone, rough and tough, with an almost growling edge which reflected his own Midwestern blue collar origins.

Really, thought Rhoda, trying to keep herself in check, Shane certainly has that "bedroom voice", even though his character is not supposed to be too bright in that department. Rhoda smiled as Shane prowled the stage, getting into Maureen's face, reciting his lines as if such bickering was in his nature. OK, so he balked at first because the skit called for him to be belligerent and combative, not at all in his true nature. But, after nine run-throughs, Shane became quite relaxed, more sure of himself.

The pair sat at the bar, the woman still griping about the man's lack of committment, the man shooting back that his girlfriend is the one holding out. The argument escalated into name calling, slurs against each others' families, money, kids...You name it, they fought over it. Kathi and Hazel, still in character, paid no attention to the combative couple and continued their conversation.

Suddenly, Maureen, as called for in the script, threw a drink into Shane's face. Shane, in response, delivered a make-believe slap to Maureen's face. She instantly pounced on him, sending the pair of them tumbling to the floor. Right on cue, the actor portraying the bartender, a non-speaking part, threw up his hands in fear and fled the scene, causing Rhoda to chuckle with good humor. The supporting actresses still conversed as if nothing was going on, while Shane and Maureen engaged in an intense wrestling match on the floor. The pair struggled and grappled, improvising their lines and movements as they went along.
Shane, now completely at ease in his character, and over his fears of harming his co-star, managed to pin Maureen to the floor. She in turn struggled and writhed under his weight, flailing her arms and calling him all kinds of filthy names. Something happened....

Norm and Rhoda, seated in the front row, howled and guffawed at this outlandish scene. Without further ado, Norm called out, "Cut!" Still chuckling, he said, "OK, kids, I think that's a wrap. Shane, you did great. Just don't screw up tonight, OK?"

For a few fleeting moments, Shane remained on the floor with Maureen still under him. What ever came over him? This was just playacting, not the real thing! Besides, the script didn't even call for that...

"Shane, Maureen," said Norm, "when you two begin the fight scene, I want you to improvise more. Really get into it, just go with it. Make it funny. Break a leg, you two."
Rhoda smiled at Shane, saying, "Just relax and you'll do fine tonight. We got a sellout crowd, so knock 'em dead."

He assisted Maureen to her feet, saying, "Sorry about that. I didn't know what came over me."
Maureen smoothed her dress, smiled slightly, replying, "No sweat. But for tonight's performance, let's not get too carried away."

Carried away...

******

That evening, Shane shuttered himself in his dressing room, pacing nervously, while the troupe's other players took their places onstage, each presenting their respective skits. As Rhoda said earlier, it was a packed house, standing room only, and the audience was primed for some good quality comedy. Each sketch was funnier and more hilarious than the first.
Due to time considerations, Shane and Maureen's skit had to moved, at the last minute, to the end. Of course this didn't set too well with Shane who sat in his dressing room, brooding over what to say to Maureen. Why oh why did THAT have to happen during the last dress rehearsal? Should he tell Norm and Rhoda about it? No way! It's just too embarrassing...

"Shane." That was Maureen knocking on the door and gently calling. "Shane, we have about 10 minutes before we go on."
"OK," came the quick reply. Shane stood up and checked his appearance. Yep, I look good all right, he thought, still staring at his reflection in the floor length mirror. He wore the clinging satin shirt, but ditched the denims for super-tight black pants...The ones with the added spandex that make for a skintight fit, a subtle sheen to show off the manly assets more clearly, and ease of movement. Well, he had messed up the jeans during rehearsal so he had to change. Hope Rhoda or Norm don't mind...

The last skit of the evening. The audience was primed and ready for a capper to a night of hilarious performances. Introductions were made, and the curtains parted. There it was, the bar scene setup, the supporting players taking their places. The scene begins...