HERE ARE THE OPTIONS ON THE NEWLY INSTALLED TELEPHONE HOTLINE AT THE STATE MENTAL HOSPITAL FOR MEN:
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you now.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the star and pound keys until a representative comes on the line.
WHO AM I??? A FAMOUS BALLERINA??
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
THANK YOU FOR CALLING AND HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!
Thanks, UJ
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you now.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the star and pound keys until a representative comes on the line.
WHO AM I??? A FAMOUS BALLERINA??
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
THANK YOU FOR CALLING AND HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!
Thanks, UJ
NEW FUNNY PAGES
IN YOUR EMAIL,
SIGN UP HERE!!
WEBTV USERS: |
